Through my late teens and into adulthood, I’ve had anger issues: I just get so upset when people don’t ack right. I would do go to extravagant lengths to prove a point and be “righteously indignant”. For example, I once lost 100 lbs and started waking up at 6am just to prove a point to an ex.

In the end, I found that despite all my righteous indignation and general upstanding-ness, I was still wrong. Everything I’ve ever done to try to make other people ack right backfired, and I was unhappier than ever.

These are lessons I learned from my foibles. These are some of the things I believe are basic competencies for a respectable, productive, mature adult to master. They serve both as a benchmark for my own conduct, and as a wiki on “adulting” for posterity.

One of my oldest friends had me pegged early on. As kids, he exclaimed, “John, you are the dumbest smart kid I know!”

Yeah, I tested well, had very good recall, paid attention to and was aware of details. I read voraciously and was enrolled in the “smart kid” programs, BUT I’m a dumbass. Historically, I make every mistake until I find a way that works.

My saving grace is that I’m eventually smart enough to notice the patterns, to remember the last time I faced the same problem, when I thought, “Next time I’ll do it differently.” This is just a collection of those hard-earned lessons, and good/beneficial advice, I picked up along the way.

Professionally and personally, I’m now a coder, have fully managed or managed departments in five companies in different industries. I’ve historically been a fat fuck, but have lost 100+ lbs twice in my life. I’m from Jersey, and I’m Korean, which makes my native tongue negativity, but I continually choose to return to positivity and growth mindset because they’re more advantageous.

I think the only people I can righteously tell how to live their lives are myself and possibly any children I might father (at least for the first 20ish years), as these are based on my own experiences, reactions, perspectives, and circumstances. And all adults legally have free will, and I trust that you’ll draw your own conclusions.

BUT I do acknowledge and enjoy the fact that people are people, and I think you may face many of these same challenges/situations in your own life. In those cases, please feel free to adapt/adopt any of my logic, conclusions, recommendations, etc. I hope they help!

Just browse! I’ve grouped individual memories into categories. Feel free to browse categories that interest you. Drop us a line, let us know what you think!